Wednesday, June 27, 2007

Transfer day...told by Hannah

After taking my shots in the hip for a few days I had become super stiff and achy. I had also woke up that morning with a huge charlie horse in my calf and when I woke up and jerked with the realization I pulled a muscle in my bum bum. Tyler was wonderful though he was helping me walk, stand and sit. By the time Tyler and I were in the car and driving to the clinic I just burst into tears! I'm sure some of it had to do with the overdose of hormones and some was just the fact that my body was in pain but what hit me was thinking "here I am I've always wanted to be a mommy and today I'll get to have my dream, no longer do I get to be selfish and just go to the movies, because now it all about being selfless protecting, raising, nurturing... the list could go on and I am so happy!!!!" So the tears of joy came as I prayed and thanked God for this day.

I arrived at the clinic and was brought back into a room were I took my tranzene and began acupuncture. Studies show that this can increase your success rates and since I've always wanted to try it I thought what a perfect opportunity. I rested with all the needles in me for about 30 minutes all the while drinking water and keeping my bladder full for the procedure.

On the day prior to the procedure we received a call from the Doctor saying that he was going to recommend us to transfer 3-4 embryos rather the original 1 or 2 we discussed. We were pretty stressed out thinking before we would do one unless the doctor gave us a really good reason to do 2. Now we were like OK well I guess will do 2 unless he gives us a really good reason to do 3. Well as soon as I was laying in my room ready for the procedure he said he was going to recommend us doing the 4. My husband being all logic asked question after question trying to figure this out but kept leaving the final decision up to me. I would just say to him "babe I am fine with putting lots in, this is about what your comfortable with" but no the choice remained mine. So finally I said "4 and will pray like crazy!"

I was brought back into the procedure room and they brought out all the embryos in the petrie dish and we were able to look at them on the TV screen above us. I was shaking with nerves and then just kept bring me more blankets and Tyler would just hold my hand, rub my head and give me little kisses all the while looking into my eyes or watching are little family on TV.

It was so cool watching them suck up all our little embryos on one screen and then on the next screen watching them guided through the catheter to be released into me. As soon as they released I panicked and thought "oh no, pull back, what am I thinking, take one out!!!" But to late. I'm fine with 4. God wont give us more then we cant bare.

I was rolled back to the room were I had to lay down for 30 minutes and rest. I had to pee really bad and I had to use a bed pan. I'm not exactly sure if those actually work but Tyler was wonderful cleaning up the mess... so embarrassing. Then the acupuncturist came in and did another treatment. Finally we were able to go home and I spent the rest of the day resting.

Its 4 days past transfer day and I don't feel any different. Occasionally I feel some nausea but then again that could be hormones talking, I get sleeping but I'm sure any one would be if they've just gone through all this. I guess my blood test on the 4th of July will let me know what's really going on....

Snap, Crackle, & Double Pop

Below are the four embryos implanted this past Saturday.

Saturday, June 23, 2007

Order Up

Today is the culmination of the past nine months of praying, pleading, and planning. Hannah concentrates on the first one and I pick up the slack on the latter two. We make a good team. The ride to the clinic this morning was an emotional one, much like rounding the final blind corner while overdriving your headlights. We all constantly make decisions with imperfect information, but none I have encountered had the gravity of today. Any attempt at rationalizing the situation fell painfully short; I always 'supersize' my combo meals, the per-capita cost goes down for each live birth, take an inconspicuous deep breath and go 'All In'. The closest practical decision point was simply put - If in end would we be more upset with having to restart the whole process from scratch or with having triplets. It is unnerving even typing that so from now it will be referred to as XXX.

Hannah has been exceptionally strong, amazingly resiliently, and uncompromisingly diligent throughout this journey. This alone gives me the confidence to handle whatever will become, and when combined with the cornerstone support of our family it can only be viewed as a brilliant adventure.

Darts Anyone?

Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Retrieval Day

Last night I had a hard time going to sleep, I kept thinking of everything that could possibly go wrong. I woke up bright and early excited to start the day. Julie came to pick us up and took us to the clinic. We we're brought to the back into a room and I was asked to change into my dressing gown. We sat there for awhile our nurse coming in and out of our room and us signing some paper work. Finally the anaesthesiologist came in and he gave me my IV, I was then brought back to the procedure room. They gave me the good stuff and I remember counting down from 10 twice and the saying wow this stuff is awesome that's were I don't know what happened. I woke up about 30 minutes and they brought me back to the room I changed in. Apparently I was complaining about my left side hurting and they put a warm blanket on my side. The first thing I remember is them saying how is your left side and I sorta got worried thinking oh my gosh what happened with my left side. Then I heard Tyler outside the room and I kept moaning his name. Finally he came in the room and I said I want a kiss and told him how much loved him... all very sappy stuff I'm sure. Then he went into the room it only took about 10 minutes. He was so funny!!!! The first thing he did was look under his blanket at his balls (in front of the nurse) and said well there still there. Then he started asking for his hat and she came back and put it on his head. Then he pushed his bed as close as he could get to me to hold my hand. Tyler just kept checking for his balls finally I said babe why do you keep looking down at your balls and he said I looked at them before. I just started laughing!!!! Then he feels his head and realizes his hat is on and says sweet they let me do all this with my hat on? I said no you were just asking for it and they gave it to you.

As for all the results they found 18 eggs and they only had to go into Tyler one time... praise Jesus!!!

So then they had to teach Tyler how to give me my shot in my butty, it actually wasn't that bad it just felt like a cramped muscle during dance. Tyler just laughed at my butty (thanks babe). Then we dressed and were wheeled out of the doctors office and Julie was out front with the car waiting for us. We went to Safeway and picked up some drugs, water, Gatorade and snacks. We then went to Jamba Juice and got a smoothie and pretzel for lunch, they said that heavy fatty foods might make us sick. We got back to our room and have been in bed ever since. Tyler is feeling good not to bad just a headache. I on the other hand have taken some codeine and have a hard time moving, I'm experiencing cramps with some really sore muscles. It hurts to use the restroom. I'm just told I need to be drinking lots of water to help prevent the OHSS.

So tomorrow and some point we should find out what is going on with are "stuff" cant wait:)!!!

Retrieval Day pix's

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

just a few pix's

The first is just Tyler and I hanging out in our room... he is being super wonderful and the second is of him at the clinic reading the paper...

The day after the HCG shot

Yesterday's shot was perfectly on time and given. The shot was a piece of cake! I thought this doesn't sting then about 30 seconds later it hit and it stung. Today I just felt like I had a sore there and it would hurt to sit and stand, not a big deal just readjusting my body made it tender. I went to the clinic this morning for blood and then they sat Tyler and I down to give us directions for tomorrow. I got a call this afternoon saying that my blood and levels were all perfect but because my estrodol is high I must likely will cause ovarian hyper stimulation syndrome (OHSS) and they wanted to order me some more medication that I'll begin taking tomorrow.

OHSS is well... I guess I don't know but it causes your belly to fill with fluid. Its uncomfortable and if too much occurs you can be hospitalized where they have to drain the fluid for you belly. My friend Julie had this. If it doesn't go away its a good sign that my body is holding onto the pregnancy.

Not much else to say Tyler and I are just hanging in the hotel room and about ready to eat our last meal for awhile. Come midnight tonight no food for awhile. As soon as I'm feeling up to it tomorrow I'll post again.

Monday, June 18, 2007

Random acts of Incompetence

prepairing for harvest

This morning at 7:45 I had an appointment at the clinic. I got to monitor with our Doctor and he measured all the follicles. He said that he would like to see about 15-25 of them but I had 14 but he was 99% sure I would do my HCG shot tonight. I was pretty bummed that my number was lower so I've been praying for that extra boost before Wednesday. But God knows exactly what we need so I need to just trust in him. Well around 3 o'clock I got the official call from the clinic and tonight I trigger.

The HCG shot is the same as the trigger shot. This is another shot like the menupor that needs mixing. This will release all the eggs and mature them. It takes exactly 36 hours from that point to go in and retrieve them. So tonight at exactly 10:30 I will be injecting a very important shot into my belly so if you could just say a pray it would be much appreciated. The nurse said it would sting and I would get like a knot in my gut where I inject it (like an allergic reaction) but its OK its working. Then tomorrow morning at 7:30 Tyler and I have an appointment at the clinic where they will take my blood to make sure I did everything correctly and then they will sit us down to give us instructions for Tuesday night and Wednesday morning. Wednesday morning will be the retrieval.

It hit me this morning that this is happening really soon. We're so excited. I cant wait!!!

Saturday, June 16, 2007

We're in Seattle

Well were here. This morning we had an appointment at our clinic. We love how quick they are we got there signed in, immediately they took me back for blood work then I went in for my ultrasound. We were in and out in like 30 minutes. Everything seems to be looking good my follicles are getting big. I got a call this afternoon from the clinic about my injection doses for the weekend and Monday morning I have an appointment and then Monday night is the trigger shot. So this means that all the eggs will drop and finish there maturing and then Wednesday will be the big retrieval day.

Thursday, June 14, 2007

Long day

This morning my mom came and picked me up and took me to my appointment. I had an ultrasound and blood work done. I had my mom video tape the ultrasound (on the screen) so that everyone could watch them counting all the follicles. I have about 14 right now but there not finished developing the doctor said I should have between 18-20. Oh but what I forgot to mention was that I went to the clinic and they didn't have me on the schedule. They said oh yeah we've been trying to get a hold of your clinic because they sent the work order but no date. I said well on the schedule I have this morning at 8:25, they were able to work me in...its a good thing they went to busy. So all went good there. Then I had to pick up some more mendopur but the clinic didn't open until 9:30 so I went home and my mom went back to work. Finally I get a hold of the pharmacy to double check that they had my medication. Then I left for the pharmacy. On the way there I got a call from the clinic in Portland saying they needed to reschedule my appointment for tomorrow and I told them that it had been cancelled so it was drooped then I continue driving and I get lost. My navigation system and sent me in a totally different area and so I decide to go back to another area and follow a different map... there is construction everywhere downtown Portland streets are closed everywhere and to top it off its the rose festival so there are people everywhere. I literally have to drive completely around downtown and finally I make it to the area where I can follow the map. Then a man comes and knocks on my window at a stop light. I HAVE A FLAT TIRE. So I pull over to the side of the road and sure enough I ain't going no where and I'm about 1.5 miles from the pharmacy. Do I need to mention I'm hormonal? Its not like I'm ovulating and there is just 1 no no no 14 + and I'm taking all the medication I'm fighting tears in the car. So I talk to Tyler and get the info for the road side assistance and because I'm not driving my car, Tyler's car or a rental its going to cost $120 bucks and I need wait an hour for him to get there then I have to ride all the way back to Vancouver to get it fixed then come back out to the pharmacy. I tried to just get the spare tire out but the thing is rusted into this car and there is about 3 inches of water in the base of it. So as I'm waiting for the toe truck two crazy men start hanging out by my car and so I lock the doors and roll up the windows (because there talking to me and there not all there) Then Melody calls and she says that her and Ben are coming to rescue me. So I cancel the truck and then get rescued but by the time they get there I'm drenched in sweat, there car's AC is broken and I look like I just got out of a swimming pool. Ben looks at the tires and guess what it wasn't one tire it was 3!!! Good thing I didn't get on the freeway. So while Ben is working on the car Melody takes me to get my medication and some lunch. Then I get a call from the clinic saying they need me to have an appointment tomorrow in Portland and I said I had one today and my husband comes in tomorrow. Well turns out the lady that schedules the out of town patients is out of town and hasn't left very good notes or tied up any loose ends. So then they say well you can just stay there Friday and have an appointment and Saturday will see you. I say no I'll be in Seattle tomorrow I have an appointment Friday in Kirkland at 8:30 and I will be there for that appointment. So she repeats it right back to me and she knows why I'll be in Kirkland. Then I get a call from Portland saying they have a work order for me on Friday and they need to schedule an appointment... I said no you don't there confused I'll be in Kirkland on Friday at their office. Ugh!!!! To top it off my back hurts and I feel sick and all I want is excederine and red bull....

But no worries as bad as it was today all is forgotten because tomorrow I see my bumpkin!!!!

Monday, June 11, 2007

Much better tonight

After last night I told my Dad I needed a nurse and fortunately a girl I grew up with but was never really close to is a nurse now. I went to her house tonight and she helped me work out the kinks... apparently I was putting to much air into the vial. She helped me with the shot then filled everything back up with fake stuff so that I could just practice for awhile and she could make sure I was doing it right.... I tell you my injection training was not very good.

But to update you on the reaction to my medication.... I'm getting lots of cramping, which is understandable since I'm not growing 1 egg... I'm growing a whole lot more!!!! I tossed and turned last night breaking out into sweet. My belly is so tender too, I have so many marks on it and its only getting worse. I just laid around today on my parents couch and watched Discovery Health Channel (its baby week).

Tomorrow morning at 8 o'clock I have an appointment at the clinic and they are just going to take my blood and then by the afternoon I should find out were my levels are out, I'm excited to hear whats going on inside my body.

Sunday, June 10, 2007

Stupid doctor made me cry!

So mad!!!! OK, so tonight I had to take my first injection of menopur. I was told to put 1 c.c of water into the powder then mix. Then I draw up the medicine switch needles and inject. Well I put the water into the needle, put it into the powder and the powder turned to paste!!! I was freaked out! I called Julie right away and was like what am I suppose to do? Julie told me to call the office and they would transfer me to the doctor on call. I get to the doctor and let him know that my powder turned to paste and asked what I should do. Very rudely he says well use another water and powder! I was like ok but is my water correct is it gonna turn into paste again? He was like I don't know I've never had this happen before! Literally is is barking at me on the phone. So I do it again and I'm shacking because I'm about ready to cry and so scared. Plus its not like this is cheap medicine and because of it not mixing I need to get more of it. So I get it mixed then draw it up into the needle and guess what I'm short about 1/2 a ml. So I take what I can and call Julie crying and she says that the doctor must have been Dr. (cant remember his name) she said she had him once and he was mean. Then Mark gets on the phone and starts explaining the way to draw it up and mix it.... so helpful. The lady that gave me instructions before had never done it before so she missed a few key parts. Then I called Tyler and cried. He listened to me and made me feel better. Then I called my Dad and said I need a nurse! I said I don't care who it is but I need someone here with me tomorrow to make sure I don't ruin this again. So tomorrow I should have someone to make sure I do it right. So if you can all just be praying right now that this isn't going to ruin my stimulation and that my missing dosage isn't going to ruin any of this that would be wonderful.

I love you all... so for the mad blog....( I guess it doesn't help I'm super hormonal)

Friday, June 8, 2007

So soon?

So this morning I went to the clinic for my ultrasound and blood work. Everything looked good but I still had to wait for my clinic to call. So at 2 o'clock I get a call letting me know that everything looks good and that Im starting my follistim shots tomorrow morning along with my lupron and then in the evening I'll be taking menopur (this will only be for 5 days). Tyler will also start some antabiotics tomorrow. Then they moved up my appoinment on Tuesday to Monday and they then want me up in Seattle for the rest of my appointments. They told me not to be alamed by switching this all up they said that because I was so healthy they thought my body would react really well to the medicine therefor making my eggs develope quicker. Melinda one of the ladies that works at the clinic walked me through the medications again and wow I didnt realise there was so many needles. I'm starting to get more nervous...

Thursday, June 7, 2007

I freaked out...

sorry if this is too much information.....

Yesterday morning I woke took my shot and went to the restroom and low and behold I started my cycle.... now I was told I may experience some spotting but this wasn't spotting this was a lot more then that. So I called the clinic and I left a message then around 1:30 I called again. I was a nervous wreck wondering if the drugs weren't working and wondering if I would have to be apart from my husband longer. Finally at 4 o'clock I got a call from one of the nurses and she was like everything is fine your not actually on a cycle your lining is just bleeding this is fine it just a side affect of the birth control. Wow so what a relief!!! As for today still sick. I cant eat much, I take a few bites and feel sick to my stomach. My little sister is spending the night with me tonight and she is gonna take me to my doctors appointment tomorrow morning. Here come all the appointments... this is getting so close!!!

Wednesday, June 6, 2007

Nothing exciting

I stopped the birth control yesterday. I felt like I was forgetting something all evening. Today I've just been feeling sick. Melody and I were doing some errands and she would have to pull over because I would get light headed and naushas ... she was afraid I was going to through up in the car but nope all was fine. I took a long nap this afternoon, I've been in a funk today wanting to leave or play outside but the weather is crummy and then the sick thing wasn't helping. Boobs are still getting bigger. I went shopping with my mom last Friday and bought a bigger sports bra, my normal bras still work but there overflowing.... I welcome the change. 9 days till Tyler gets here or 21 injections how ever you want to count it. I miss him like crazy!!!! I HATE HATE HATE HATE being away from him. But he calls me everday he says because he is bored but I think its because he misses me!!! Friday is my next apt. so hopefully I'll have something interesting to share... until then...

Formerly "Scrambled Eggs"